Kirsten Dunst Gender Role Controversy

Hellooooo people! So I know this Kirsten Dunst story is a few days old but whatever! I wanted to write about it because I have a few things to say about it. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the deal … Kirsten Dunst shared a few thoughts she had on gender roles in relationships with Harper’s Bazaar U.K. She stated, “I feel like the feminine has been a little undervalued…we all have to get our own jobs and make our own money, but staying at home, nurturing, being the mother, cooking — it’s a valuable thing my mom created.” She ALSO decided to add, “Sometimes, you need your knight in shining armor. I’m sorry, you need a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman. That’s why relationships work.”

Yikes. You can image how much of a controversial buzz this started on the internet. Feminists were pretty much roaring! Here is what I have to say about the matter. I’m pro the alpha female. That woman who is like Samantha Jones on Sex and the City. That woman who isn’t dependent or anyone or any MAN. Maybe she was promiscuous but she was independent. I don’t think that just because a woman isn’t a housewife or stay at home mom that that means she has no femininity. I applaud women who are independent and strong. I don’t know what the hell she meant by that first statement. I don’t see how femininity is undervalued in society.  There are plenty of stay at homes moms and that’s perfectly great. There are plenty of stay at home dads and that’s cool, too. Everyone lives their lives differently. Now, for the second statement…. she should have worded that COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Knight in shining armour? I get it. I grew up on Disney movies. However, what the hell does she mean by “you need a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman” ?! Huh? Now, to her defense she may have not explicitly said “Women belong in the kitchen” but it was implied .. at least it was to me. That’s NOT why relationships work. Not to offend anyone, but there are PLENTY of “nurturing, cooking, stay at home” women who are single or get divorced. We ALL know that. So, where exactly is that coming from Dunst? There are plenty of single moms who work and take cares of the children, which I think is AMAZING. It’s not the “ideal” but it’s still applaud worthy. Gender roles are a thing of the past. Not every relationship needs an alpha and a beta. It can be alpha/alpha or beta/beta. It’s all depends on the people in the relationship.

I understand she grew up in a certain family environment and she’s definitely entitled to her opinion. The problem is she should’ve stated it differently. That’s all *shrug*




  1. You say you admire the character Samantha Jones but didn’t she seek men who were men so that she could be the woman to their man. Alpha to Alpha as it were?

    But I think you read Dunst’s comment with the filter of a Feminist, one who wants more to be a Man than to be a Woman who is thought of as equal to a man.

    1. I admire Samantha Jones because she wasn’t dependent on anyone. As far as personal preference of men, yes I do prefer alpha to alpha in a relationship. However, I have NO ISSUES with men staying home with their children & women who earn the main income in the household. I don’t want to be a man. I take pride in being female as I was raised by 5 women.

      1. Yet, you went immediately to Alpha and Beta instead of Alpha and Alpha. That makes me think that you’d consider a “househusband” the Beta in the relationship as well.

        That’s why I said you wanted to be a Man. Like too many Feminists, you only accept one paradigm for “power” and position and that’s the traditional paradigm. You just want to fill what has previously been the Man’s position. Or, at least, that’s how it seems to me.

      2. I understand how it will come off that way but I’m going to continue to disagree. I don’t want to be a man but I believe women are just as capable as men. For me it’s not about power. It’s about independence.

      3. Independence is a tricky concept in context of relationships, relationships being a bit more, though not in any way exclusively, about interdependence.

        You need both Yin and Yang for it to work in most cases. That, however, doesn’t make one lesser than the other.

      4. I never stated one is lesser than the other. There are plenty of relationships that are alpha & alpha, beta & beta, alpha & beta. What I’m saying is MY personal preference but I’m not saying that I would completely avoid another type of relationship. But I would prefer if I had a partner who didn’t make me feel like “I had to stay in my place”. I’m not gonna be like these other feminists who are cursing Dunst out because she’s entitled to her opinion … Like
        I mentioned.

  2. At the end of the day, women (feminists) don’t want to be controlled by men and want to be viewed as equal human beings; not just for purposes. Men and women show their affections differently when in love and those have been misinterpreted as “gender roles.” When in fact, it’s a natural thing. Love as you feel or how you want but not on how you were told it is supposed to be.

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